


gold rush

by johnyongclub



Series: champagne problems [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Exes, Goodbye Sex, Goodbyes, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun Needs a Hug, M/M, Minor Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Break Up, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29784033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnyongclub/pseuds/johnyongclub
Summary: Jaehyun gets a last chance to spend his time well with the boy that he loves and lost.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Series: champagne problems [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189079
Comments: 13
Kudos: 101





	gold rush

**Author's Note:**

> the jaedo is here finally! i guess you gotta read the first part to kinda understand but it probably won't be necessary. title from taylor swift's album and has no link whatsoever to the story akdjdj.
> 
> also, sorry in advance? unbeta-ed and i didnt proof read. enjoy!

Jaehyun decides an hour after the group made plans to meet before Taeil's graduation ceremony this Friday that he doesn't want to go. Well, he  _ does  _ want to go but not with them. He wouldn't miss Taeil's big day for the world and he loves each one of them but as much as he'd love to spend the time with the group, Jaehyun doesn't think he could stand another second of Doyoung hating him. 

When did it get like this, you ask? Clearly it wasn't always like this. It was holding hands while taking a walk in the park. It was stealing kisses when their friends weren't looking because Doyoung gets shy. It was leaning into each other when they laughed and shared memories of their time together. 

It was also getting into stupid fights but making up after. It was Jaehyun holding Doyoung close at night when life hits them hard and them telling each other that it would all be okay eventually. It was smiling whenever he saw Doyoung do so well, and Doyoung buying him gifts each time he did well for a test. It was all of that, and now it's nothing.

It's looking away when their eyes meet. It's tensing up when the other's name is mentioned. It's Doyoung pretending Jaehyun isn't there and it's Jaehyun faking a smile like it doesn't hurt him deep inside every time someone teases Doyoung about another guy. 

When did it get like this? Jaehyun doesn't know. 

He must have made a mistake somewhere along the way and out of his many mistakes, it could have been the last straw for Doyoung. What else could there be? What else could have been the reason Doyoung cried that night and told him he was too tired, too unstable, for  _ this  _ to go on?

Maybe he should have stopped Doyoung from walking out. Maybe he should have taken his hand and wrapped his arms around the boy he loves, and maybe he should have told him it would be okay. Instead he'd stood there in shock, and he watched as three years of his life walked out the door.

"What? You can't not go." Mark is saying, frowning at Jaehyun as he tries to finish the sandwich he'd made for himself. "Taeil's gonna be sad, bro, c'mon."

Jaehyun  _ knows  _ that. He sighs, leaning back against the couch and tossing Mark's hoodie onto the beanbag. Mark had not so subtly moved in with him since Doyoung moved out, to keep him company initially, because the break up was harsh and being alone in the apartment was difficult. Jaehyun's thankful, of course, but Mark isn't the tidiest.

He can't complain, obviously; Doyoung had said Jaehyun isn't tidy at all, so that must explain the state of his apartment. Doyoung would throw a fit if he saw this. 

"Is this because of Doyoung?" Mark asks, leaving the kitchen to sit on the beanbag his hoodie is on. "Look, Jae, you should talk to him. This thing going on between you two is honestly heartbreaking. You probably need closure."

Jaehyun clicks his tongue, rubbing at his temples. "I tried. We fought again the last time I did."

"When was that?"

A shrug. "When we went to the mountains?"

Mark blinks at him, "Dude, that was a month ago. Try again? Maybe he's cooled down now. C'mon, for your own sake."

"I don't know," Jaehyun sighs again, his gaze fixated on the TV screen but his focus is somewhere else. "I'm starting to think I should stop. He wanted it to end. Maybe I should stop trying. You can't force it, right?"

There's silence for the next minute or two. Jaehyun doesn't look at Mark to see if he would say anything and he assumes the conversation had come to an end, at least until Mark speaks up again. Jaehyun half wishes he'd kept quiet.

"You should ask Taeyong."

Jaehyun scoffs, "Are you crazy? He'd cut my tongue off with his eyes alone even before I get to speak."

Mark laughs, shaking his head. "He's not that bad. He's close to Doyoung. Maybe he knows stuff. You could start there."

"I doubt he'd betray his only friend outside of the 95Line just to help me out."

Another second of silence, and then Mark says, "Ask Johnny."

"What? Johnny doesn't know shit."

"Johnny's Taeyong's boyfriend now," Mark stands up, grabbing his hoodie and pointing a finger at Jaehyun. "He's soft on Johnny. I bet you Johnny could get those answers."

Jaehyun's mouth parts to retort because it probably would hurt more if Taeyong found out he was  _ using  _ Johnny, but Mark is already walking off. He isn't wrong; they've all seen how different Taeyong is with Johnny and, honestly, it's not like he would die if he tried. 

Even if he would, Doyoung's kind of worth it.

  
  


* * *

  
  


"You want me to do  _ what? _ " Johnny laughs as they both take their seats on their usual table at lunch the next day. 

Jaehyun had made sure both Doyoung and Taeyong won't be around during this break, as well as Yuta and Haechan because god knows they couldn't keep a secret to save a life. Mark and Lucas are still in their classes and Jungwoo had skipped today, thanks to his fever. Everything is great when they get to lunch together most of the time but that only means private conversations had to wait.

Today is Jaehyun's lucky day. 

"Listen, you're the only one who can get through to Taeyong, right? Help a friend out?" 

Johnny frowns at him, biting into an apple Jaehyun has never seen him get for lunch. It's a Taeyong thing-  _ Of course.  _ He almost let himself roll his eyes if not for the fact that he needs Johnny's help right now. He looks expectantly at Johnny, waiting for his response. Johnny takes an eternity to swallow.

"Why can't you just talk to Doyoung?" Johnny asks, taking a sip of his coffee. "Taeyong's pretty tight with him. I doubt he'd be easy to talk to about this. What do you wanna know anyway?"

Jaehyun sighs, picking at the noodle he'd gotten for himself using his chopstick. "I just want to know if there's a chance I could get back with him. Or like, if he's really closed his heart for me. I miss him, John. I want things to go back to the way it was."

Johnny seems to soften, his eyes warmer as he mirrors Jaehyun's sigh. "You know it could never go back to the way it was. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing but that's just not possible. Even if you guys get back together, it'll be different now."

"I know," Jaehyun presses on, feeling a little desperate because Johnny is the last resort. "But wouldn't you want the same? Put yourself in my shoes for once, Johnny. I know you'd do anything so you won't have to lose Taeyong."

Johnny's sigh is louder this time but that's how Jaehyun knows the older is helping him. He eyes Jaehyun for a second before reluctantly speaking up, "Fine. I'll bring it up out of curiosity. But I can't promise I'll get any answers."

"Thank you!" Jaehyun beams, excited to know if his pining is for nothing or if he still has that chance. "I owe you for this, I promise. You're a bro, John."

Johnny waves it off but he's smiling too and Jaehyun knows Johnny would have helped him either way. Johnny would understand; he's in love too, he'd know how Jaehyun feels.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He doesn't have a well-organized plan. Hell, he doesn't have a plan at all, but he's only stalling because he doesn't know what Johnny knows yet, or at least that's what he tells himself. Taeil's graduation ceremony is tomorrow and his family is holding a party-ish scene that requires a plus one and he'd thought of asking Doyoung to go with him. If Doyoung still has room for him in his heart, he doubts it'd be difficult to talk him into going together.

So, really, the only problem now is that he doesn't know if Doyoung would give him a chance, which is why he's sitting in the cafeteria, bouncing his leg on the ball of his foot and halting to a stop as soon as he sees Taeyong approach the table, a sheepish-looking Johnny tailing behind him.

Not a good sign. 

Taeyong doesn't say anything as he takes a seat opposite Jaehyun and he waits until Johnny is seated next to him before he speaks up. "You should stop hoping, Jaehyun."

_ Harsh.  _ Jaehyun clears his throat, "Did he tell you to tell me that?"

"No,  _ I'm _ telling you that," Taeyong says, placing one of the apples he has onto Johnny's tray before he continues. "I'm saying you shouldn't waste your time trying. It's over."

"What he means to say is," Johnny clears his throat, speaking in a much kinder tone of voice. "That you probably should focus on something else other than getting back with Doyoung. Maybe like, two years from now you could try again? Doyoung needs time."

Jaehyun can't believe this. He's angry Johnny would even say such things. Doesn't he understand? "Two years from now he'd be happy with someone else!"

"Don't talk to him like that," Taeyong interrupts, his voice cold and gaze warning. "I don't like it."

Jaehyun isn't a fool so he steps down, guilt washing over him because it really isn't Johnny's fault that he fucked up in the first place. He murmurs a quiet 'sorry' under his breath, chest heavy and gaze blurring out. He blinks back the tears, eyes burning and he continues to pick at the sandwich he'd gotten. Disappointment and hopelessness weighs a different kind of heavy. He doesn't welcome either.

"Look," Taeyong tries again, "You love him, don't you? If two years from now, he's happy with someone else, you should accept that. I'd accept it if Johnny's happy with someone else."

"I won't be," Johnny is quick to butt in.

Jaehyun bites back the urge to snap again. Instead he says it carefully, "Easy for you to say. You two are still together. You're not broken up like we are. Johnny's crazy about you, there's no way he'd be happy with anyone else even ten years from now. I'm sure you know that."

It's still somewhat strange to see colors in Taeyong's cheeks when he's always just annoyed or snappy and sometimes even just blank, but Jaehyun is getting used to it. Taeyong clears his throat, waving it off with a flick of his wrist.

"I know it's easy to say," Taeyong says. "But I've wondered the same and talked to Doyoung, because it honestly sucks to see you guys broken up like this, but he told me- He has other plans, Jae. You should talk to him yourself."

Johnny hums, "Now's a good time because he's coming over."

Jaehyun panics. He considers leaving the table for good but Johnny's words about Doyoung needing time and his own fear that Doyoung would find someone else has him rooted in his seat. He glances up when Doyoung greets them but simultaneously both Johnny and Taeyong excuse themselves.

_ Here we go. _

The silence feels too heavy. He couldn't find the right words to start and Doyoung seems to be giving him a chance to speak because he's quiet and he isn't leaving. It's only when Doyoung makes a move to walk off that Jaehyun stops him.

"Wait-" Jaehyun startles, looking up at Doyoung. "Can we talk, please?"

Doyoung sits down again. "If we start fighting, I'm walking off and we aren't having this conversation again."

"No fighting, I promise," Jaehyun says, clearing his throat. "I know your decision for us to end things is final. I just- I guess I just want to know why you'd shut me out. I thought we had big plans together. I thought we're going to Paris to continue everything there."

" _ I'm  _ going to Paris, Jaehyun," Doyoung corrects him. "I'm continuing with my internship there and it'll be just me."

Jaehyun clenches his jaw, "That wasn't what we talked about. I don't remember talking about just you or just me. I remember talking about  _ us.  _ What happened to that?"

Silence. Doyoung stares at his plate of food, fists clenched on either side of his tray. "I just think it's best if we focus on our studies and career before anything. We spent three years losing opportunities. I think it would be good if we could get to where we want to be before we think about us."

Jaehyun never had a knife stabbed right into his chest but the pain he feels now must be a close description. "You're saying you wasted the last three years on me?"

"We wasted it on each other."

"I didn't waste shit on you, Doyoung," Jaehyun snaps. "I don't regret missing that summer programme so I could spend summer with you instead. I don't regret not flying to the US to continue my degree there so I could finish it here with you. If you feel like we  _ wasted  _ anything, that's just you."

Doyoung parts his lips to speak, looking like he might cry and Jaehyun regrets raising his voice. He says, "It's just-"

"I'm sorry that you feel like you've wasted your years on me," Jaehyun interrupts quietly. "I never stopped you from taking up those opportunities you mentioned but I'm sorry anyway. I just wanted to know why and if I had a chance to get you back. I missed you, Doyoung. I really do."

The older boy sighs, running a palm down his face. "It's not your fault, Jaehyun. It never was. I just need you to know that. I'm- I'm leaving. The semester ended so my internship starts in mid-August. I'll be leaving this weekend."

Jaehyun is frozen to his seat, fighting off the cold, painful rush of panic that runs down his spine. Doyoung is  _ leaving  _ for good and the weekend is coming up too soon. He swallows the lump in his throat, the coming loss he would feel again too palpable he could almost touch it.

He tries to speak but all he comes up with is; "What?"

Doyoung nods, "I only told Taeyong and Jungwoo. I was planning to tell the rest of you at dinner tomorrow after Taeil's graduation. It was last minute. I only got accepted three days ago."

Which means he'd applied for it months before. Jaehyun tries to make sense of it and it isn't the hardest to figure out; Doyoung thinks he wouldn't be able to even fill up the form if he had stuck with Jaehyun because it's what they  _ do.  _ They put aside everything so they won't have to be apart and Doyoung would have abandoned the idea of interning in Paris if he didn't leave Jaehyun that night.

It feels selfish but for some reason, Jaehyun understands. He feels guilty for holding Doyoung back all this time, even though he hadn't meant to, but this right now isn't about him. They both have big dreams and Doyoung is doing what Jaehyun doesn't think he could ever do. He's choosing himself and while the ways he'd chosen to do it weren't the kindest, Jaehyun knows staying together would only mean staying here. Taeyong is right; he does love Doyoung.

And loving Doyoung means letting him go.

It doesn't mean he has to say goodbye now.

"I just have one thing to ask of you," Jaehyun speaks up finally, his voice hoarse and his eyes are burning. "For one last time. Will you go to Taeil's ceremony with me tomorrow?"

Doyoung looks surprised for a second but then his lips curl into a slow smile and he nods, "I'd love to."

Jaehyun's not sure if it's smart but he's happy anyway.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny thinks it's a bad idea, Taeyong agrees and Yuta is staring at him through the reflection in the mirror with wide eyes and a frowning mouth. It's clear the 95Line collectively don't think it's a smart move but Jaehyun stands his ground; he would rather be hurt than spend indefinite years wishing he had spent his time with Doyoung. 

Taeil's graduation ceremony went splendidly; he graduated with an Honor's degree and Jaehyun heard he would be continuing his Master's right after. He envies how much Taeil has his life figured out; his whole life was planned in bed with Doyoung before it all came crashing down the night Doyoung walked out. You can't blame him for being upset.

At lunch, Doyoung had dropped the news of him leaving in two days. Two days. That's all Jaehyun's got.

Right now he's making sure he doesn't look as messy as he feels. Over at the 95Line's apartment, he'd been pulled into Johnny's room so he could borrow his clean trousers (he hasn't gotten the chance to go to the laundromat), and Taeyong is on his phone while Johnny fishes out more trousers and Yuta sits on the edge of the bed, judging.

Apparently Johnny sleeps in Taeyong's room now but he keeps his room a bedroom instead of turning it into something else in case Taeyong kicks him out. Jaehyun thinks it's smart and Johnny says it's Taeyong's idea since he doesn't want Johnny to sleep on the couch. 

Sweet and all, whatever. Jaehyun still remembers the honeymoon stage of being in a relationship but nothing beats the comfort and ease of knowing someone inside and out. He guesses Johnny and Taeyong had already skipped the early stages; they were obliviously pining for years anyway. 

"I think these are okay," Jaehyun says slowly, eyeing Yuta's expression to see if he would agree. He tugs at his shirt, just a white one for a smart casual look. "We could get going."

Taeyong looks up but it's Yuta who speaks, "We could, but you might want to rethink this last date type thing."

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, "I'm not changing my mind. He's leaving on Sunday and I don't know when I get to see him again. I gotta make it count."

"Foolish," Taeyong supplies, pocketing his phone. His silver purple hair is slicked up, fringe falling over his eye and he's wearing a gray sports jacket over a white shirt with a low neckline that shows off his chest. He's attractive, obviously, Jaehyun isn't blind but he tries not to stare. If Johnny doesn't punch him, Taeyong might. 

That's the thing Jaehyun envies about Taeyong though; he could make the worst clothes look good on himself. Jaehyun doesn't think he could pull it off as well. 

"Eyes up here, man," Johnny claps him over his shoulder, bringing his attention back to the mirror. "Look, don't listen to them. If you think it's a good idea then do it. If it turns out to be a mistake, it's something to learn from, right?"

Taeyong comes up on his other side, meeting his gaze in the mirror. "You're not going to try and change his mind, are you? If his decisions ever change, I want him to realize it himself. He needs this. He's wanted this since he was a kid."

It almost feels like there's an angel and a demon on his left and right, except Johnny is the demon with a soft tone encouraging him to go ahead and break his own heart, while Taeyong is the cold angel telling him what would be ideal.

Like almost every human being on earth, Jaehyun listens to the devil. 

"I'm just going to spend the night with him, that's all," Jaehyun promises. "Just one last night."

Yuta sighs, pulling Jaehyun away from the pair so he could hook his arm around Jaehyun's elbow as he leads them out of the room, out of the apartment. "Forget sad things. It's a happy night. You drink up, make out, have mindblowing sex and cry when you say goodbye. It's life, right? It's a piece of shit to manage but we're alive so we live."

It's not the best pep talk, but as Jaehyun climbs into the passenger seat of Yuta's car and Johnny and Taeyong pile in the back, Jaehyun thinks it's the most realistic one he'd get.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Taeil lives away from his parents, in a mansionette his father gifted him with as a present for getting into college. Privilege at its best but Taeil's so chill and generous, Jaehyun can't even hate him. They often go over to Taeil's for a sleep over but the party now is held over at his parents' mansion.

Jaehyun guesses most of the people there are family members since he couldn't recognize them. He'd asked if Doyoung wanted him to pick him up but Doyoung insisted that they meet at the Moons' house. He's just a little nervous since the last time he'd gone on a date with Doyoung is nearly a year ago. He couldn't miss tonight, though. It's his last chance.

As soon as they'd stepped into the house, Johnny and Taeyong disappear to only god knows where, much like those times they'd disappeared thinking the rest of the group were clueless. They were never subtle. It was kind of funny. 

Jaehyun's nervous as he stuck around outside. Jungwoo said they were still on the way over so he knows Doyoung has yet to reach. When Haechan and his group of friends arrive, they greet him with a hug and Haechan teases him about using protection. Jaehyun only responds by smacking the back of his head. 

Doyoung arrives not too long after, with Jungwoo greeting Jaehyun with a nod of his head before he disappears into the house. Then there were two of them.

Doyoung, the love of his life, his light and his rock and his pillar, looks like the star of the night. There's a glow to him that Jaehyun hadn't seen in a while. His cheekbones are highlighted with make up, his lips glossy with gloss, his eyes soft and warm. He's frowning, probably about to scold Jaehyun for staring at him but the younger beats him to it.

"You look gorgeous," Jaehyun says easily. He's never been shy with giving away compliments and he knows he gives them often, especially to Doyoung, because he remembers liking the pinks in his cheeks so much. "I was thinking… After we spend some time with Taeil, maybe you'd like to go somewhere else? We haven't been to Tavares' in a while." 

Doyoung hums, nodding his head. "That sounds good. I don't feel like spending my last night here with a drunk Yuta. He's so getting drunk. I just know it."

Jaehyun laughs, taking Doyoung's hand and celebrating his victory internally when the older doesn't pull back. "He is. He even told me to get drunk if things go bad."

"Do you think it will?" Doyoung asks as they step into the house. He squeezes Jaehyun's hand, his eyes questioning.

"No way," Jaehyun scoffs. "Nothing could go bad as long as I have you."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Things  _ did  _ go bad but not in the way that ruined their plans for the night. In fact it's pretty amusing; Haechan threw up all over his friend Jeno, Yuta overreacted when he caught Johnny and Taeyong making out, saying they should lock the door if they were going to get nasty (Johnny screaming  _ 'We weren't doing anything! _ ) and Jungwoo drunkenly confessed that he's had a crush on Yuta for the longest time.

Jaehyun doesn't even wanna go there. Doyoung and Taeyong didn't look surprised so Jaehyun could only assume that they'd already known. They're close to Jungwoo, after all. He only hopes Jungwoo knows what to say the next time he faces Yuta sober because unfortunately, Yuta wasn't drunk enough to forget. It's messy. It's actually pretty funny too.

Finding everything humorous as a coping mechanism? Jaehyun is an expert! He thinks it'd be funny if the world is ending right now. That, or he'd have a major breakdown.

Maybe both.

In the midst of all that chaos, though, Jaehyun whispered to Johnny to tell him that he'll be gone with Doyoung and then he'd quickly pulled Doyoung away from the group and out of the house. He'd gotten his car keys back from Mark, who said he'll be tagging along with Haechan for a ride home. 

They'd laughed as they climbed into the car and Jaehyun had driven off with no direction, just going where the road takes them. It's nice to sit here with Doyoung next to him, like they used to do when they were still together. 

"Do you have anywhere in mind you'd like to go?" Jaehyun asks as he drives into the night, accompanied by the faint music Doyoung had put on. He recognized it's the playlist they'd made together a while ago. 

He half expects Doyoung to tell him he doesn't mind anything but the older says; "I'd actually like it if we just drive. It's nice and comfortable. Is that okay?"

Jaehyun nods, happy that Doyoung wants to even spend this time with him. It's always been like this anyway; their night could be quiet and comfortable like this and Jaehyun would think it was a good night. "So, are you excited?"

Doyoung scoffs, "Am I excited about leaving my friends and you behind? No, but I'm pretty excited about getting to do what I like. It just feels like a new beginning. Sorry, that's corny or whatever."

"Hey, don't apologize," Jaehyun assures the other, his free hand taking Doyoung's to give it a squeeze. There's a weight on his chest but also the familiar sense of pride he has for Doyoung. He's always wanted good things for him. "I'm happy for you and I'm so proud you're taking this step."

The older smiles, giving Jaehyun's hand a squeeze in return. "Thanks. It's a big step. I know I broke your heart when I took it but I… I just had to."

Jaehyun's ready to tell him it's okay, that he understands, that even though it hurts he knows it's for a good thing but Doyoung's eyes are glassy and his tears fall freely down his cheeks. Jaehyun's heart breaks at the sight. He looks out at the signs to see where they're heading and as soon as there's an opening, he pulls over to the side. 

He doesn't say a word but he steps out of the car and goes around it to open Doyoung's door, offering his hand. When the older takes it and climbs out as well, he closes the door and pulls Doyoung to the front of the car. They're lucky because uphill, the view of the city is breathtaking. The moon looks like it's cut in half and the weather isn't too cold.

"I know it's difficult," Jaehyun says finally, breaking the silence. He doesn't let go of Doyoung's hand. "It is for me too. I've never wondered what it's like being without you because there was never a single doubt that we'd go separate ways. Everything I do, every decision I made, I do it with you in mind. You're always there, every step of the way. Whenever I get overwhelmed and scared that things might not go as I planned, I feel better knowing you'll be there."

He pauses and he lifts Doyoung's hand to kiss his knuckles. "But I know you would let me do the same thing if our positions were reversed. You'd be proud of me like I'm proud of you now. I've had to spend almost a whole year without you as my partner and I didn't understand then but I do now. I'm sad, sure. But I'm happy too. I'm happy for you."

Doyoung listens closely but by the time Jaehyun is done speaking, he breaks into a series of sobs and collapses into Jaehyun's arms. Jaehyun himself has to hold back his own emotions but he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He kisses into Doyoung's hair and for a long while, he holds him in his arms as the older continues to cry. 

After, Jaehyun doesn't know how much later, Doyoung stops crying. He pulls away but rests his head on Jaehyun's shoulder and they watch as the moon rises. When Doyoung speaks again, his voice is quiet.

"I'm not asking you to wait," He says, shifting his head to press a kiss onto Jaehyun's shoulder and raising their clasped hands to toy with his fingers. "I would never do that to you. But I just want you to know that there's always space in my heart for you. You're my first real love, Jae."

Jaehyun smiles, finding himself nodding because hearing it from Doyoung never fails to make his heart flutter, one way or another. He turns his head to kiss his temple and he presses their hands against his chest. "You're mine."

Doyoung chuckles, the sound pained and lifeless. "Can't believe I'm saying this but I'm going to miss you and the guys. You better make sure Johnny takes care of Taeyong."

"What about Jungwoo and Yuta?" Jaehyun asks with a soft laugh, just to play along.

The older clicks his tongue, "Don't get me started on that. And don't tell Jungwoo I said this but he realized he has a crush on Yuta that night Yuta left for spring break. Said something about missing what's not in front of you or whatever. Taeyong near whacked his head."

Jaehyun laughs again, shaking his head. "I guess we're all a bunch of hopeless kids. We'll be okay, though."

"Will we?" Doyoung straightens up, red-rimmed eyes meeting Jaehyun's. "Us, I mean. Will we be okay?"

"Of course," Jaehyun doesn't miss a beat, flashing the older a smile he knows would soften him. "I never doubted for a second that we're meant to be. It doesn't matter how long it'll take between now and later, but I'm yours, baby."

It's the right answer because Doyoung smiles and he doesn't waste a second leaning in and kissing Jaehyun hard on his mouth. He fits perfectly between Jaehyun's legs and arms and they melt into each other like the melting glacier and the water underneath, becoming one so easily, so smoothly that Jaehyun forgets where he ends and Doyoung begins.

They end up right back in the car, Jaehyun sitting with a lap full of Doyoung, whose shirt has been discarded and who is now seated so prettily on his cock and grinding his hips down like it's the last thing he would do. Jaehyun has his fingers dug deep into each side of Doyoung's thin waist, rubbing circles into his skin and imprinting this sight, this pleasure, in his memories. 

He tries to push away all thoughts of losing Doyoung all over again as he pulls him down into a kiss, licking into his mouth and wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him flushed against his front. He bucks up his own hips, snapping them upwards to fuck into Doyoung's heat. It's intimate and emotional and heartbreaking but also the kind of closure Jaehyun never knew he needed. 

"I love you," He pants, whispered against Doyoung's mouth as he guides his hips with a tight grip around his waist, lifting him up and back down onto his shaft. "God, I love you."

Doyoung is breathing hard into his mouth, pulling back so he could properly grind down against Jaehyun's hips, his moans so pretty Jaehyun thinks he might faint. "I love you too. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Maybe in any other occurrences, Jaehyun would be embarrassed of how quickly he's pushed to the edge but hearing Doyoung repeat those words over and over while riding him made it impossible for him to hold back. He cums with a grunt, spilling into the older's tight channel and riding his orgasm out by thrusting up into him until Doyoung is cumming too, white spraying over his chest. 

He holds Doyoung close after he cleans them off and he doesn't apologize for taking him in the car instead of bringing him home because it feels right. It feels nice, it feels like home anyway and that's probably because it's  _ Doyoung. _

Later, he would let this loss consume him. If he doesn't, he knows he wouldn't be able to let him go.

  
  


* * *

  
  


When Sunday rolls around, Jaehyun is dreading getting off his bed. There's a lot going on outside his room; he could hear Yuta telling Mark to hurry up, Lucas laughing and Johnny's constant chatter to a silent Taeyong. They're probably waiting for him to wake up. They have no idea that he hadn't slept all night. It's kind of hard to, honestly. 

Jaehyun stays in bed until Yuta starts knocking at his door. He doesn't know why they've all resorted to hanging out in his apartment on the day Doyoung has to leave but he has a guess they want to go to the airport with him.

When he opens the door, Yuta stares at him. "You look like shit."

Jaehyun forces a smile, "Thanks, I feel like shit."

"You can wallow in your shitty feelings later," Taeyong butts in, peeking from behind Yuta. "If we spend another second in this place we're gonna miss Doyoung's flight."

Because Jaehyun is feeling bold and like nothing worse could possibly happen to him, he rolls his eyes and closes the door before he starts washing up. It only takes less than ten minutes for him to get ready and they don't linger behind as soon as he is out of his room. 

The drive to the airport feels too long to his liking. He lets Mark drive his car and sits in the back while Lucas takes the front seat. Johnny and Taeyong are in Yuta's, tailing behind them. From what he heard, Taeil is driving Jungwoo, Doyoung and Haechan earlier to the airport.

Doyoung leaves for Paris in approximately three hours. It fucking sucks now that the day is here, even though he'd gotten to spend Friday and the night before with Doyoung. Once the older is out of the country, there's no telling how long Jaehyun would have to wait.

He would wait anyway. 

At the airport, Jaehyun manages to fake a smile for Doyoung. He latches himself onto the male and all ten of them have lunch together, possibly for the last time until Doyoung returns, whenever that would be. No one talks about the fact that Doyoung is leaving and everyone makes little jokes and laughs over small things. Jaehyun's pretty sure they dreaded for lunch to end but they had to move eventually.

Before Doyoung goes through the departure gate, each one of them gives him a hug. Jungwoo is crying into Doyoung's shoulder and for all the stoic expressions Taeyong is an expert at, Jaehyun doesn't miss the way his mouth frowns and how his eyes are glassy. They're Doyoung's closest friends out of the group, Jaehyun could imagine how hard this must be.

Johnny gets an earful of how he should take care of Taeyong  _ or else.  _ Yuta gets a kiss on the cheek and Taeil sends Doyoung off with a reminder that he's done well and will keep doing well. Mark looks sad but he keeps up the smile and reminds Doyoung not to forget to video call them. 

Haechan has run out of words to say because he's quiet and he hugs Doyoung for the longest time. It's a sentimental moment, Jaehyun guesses; for all the pranks and teasing Haechan pulls, Doyoung was the one who had looked after him since high school, being neighbors and all.

When Doyoung turns to him, finally, the rest of them allow the two a little privacy. Doyoung is smiling but his eyes are red from crying with Jungwoo earlier. Jaehyun's surprised he could still smile with the way his heart keeps breaking.

"So," He speaks up, clearing his throat when his voice breaks. "This is it, huh? Promise you'll call?"

Doyoung smiles, small and pained, "I promise. I'll call you so much you'd wish I'd stop."

Jaehyun laughs and pulls Doyoung into his arms. He squeezes him, holds him close against his chest and he doesn't stop the tears that roll down his cheeks. It takes a moment for him to be able to speak again. "I love you. I'm so proud of you. I hope you remember that."

There's a sob as Doyoung nods his head. His own arms tighten around Jaehyun. "I will. I love you too. I hope you don't think this is easy for me, Jae. It's honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"I know," Jaehyun nods as well, pulling back to cup Doyoung's cheeks in his hands. His vision blurs from his tears but he smiles at the boy he'd given his heart to. "I know. And that's why I'm proud of you. It's okay, yeah? We'll all be here. We love you. I love you. I always will."

Doyoung returns his smile and he leans in to kiss him one last time. 

One last time. 

Johnny hands him a napkin for him to wipe his face after they pull away and he couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Jungwoo dabbing napkin on Doyoung's cheeks while looking like a wreck himself. They watch as Doyoung goes through the departure gate and he locks eyes with Jaehyun for an endless minute before he has to go.

Doyoung brings every ounce of Jaehyun's energy through that gate because by the time he realizes Doyoung's flight has departed, all he wants to do is sleep. He wants to sleep for a while if it means it would stop hurting. His friends understand and Mark tells the rest not to worry before he drives them back to the apartment.

He lets Jaehyun sleep but wakes him up for dinner and doesn't push when he goes back to sleep right after.

When he wakes up the next morning, it's to a text from Doyoung saying he's landed safely. It's the only reason Jaehyun finds himself smiling and as he tucks himself back under the duvet, he replies to the message.

He decides it doesn't matter how long Doyoung would take. For now, in this moment, he knows he would rather wait than to start all over again with someone else.

His heart has always belonged to Doyoung anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated!! find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/johnyongcas) or [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/johnyongclub)!


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